Asking for Money at Your Wedding

Want to start a heated discussion, bring up asking for money at your wedding. Some people are all in favor and others dislike it. The key is doing it in good taste.

Here are some examples that I have seen.

Traditionally, and the most common way, when brides and grooms ask for money at their wedding they use the dollar dance. People pay money to dance with the bride and the groom. This one can take a lot of time out of the reception and the bride and the groom spend more time with everyone else rather than each other.

I had a friend write on her invitation “no gifts please only give us money for our honeymoon.” I have to admit I thought it was a little bit tacky to put on a wedding invitation. This was probably not the best approach.

One idea I’ve seen is a honeymoon jar. Sometimes the couple just sits the jar out on the gift table, sometimes they pass it around and sometimes they put it with the guest book and a note with it thanking their guests for contributing. This can offend some guests as they already probably brought you a gift and now you are asking for more.

A fun way I saw was when a bride and groom put out two glasses (one with the bride’s name and one with the groom’s name) and asked people to place money in the glass of who they wanted to see get hit in the face when eating the wedding cake. The person with the most money in their glass gets “caked.”

Going back to my friend with the request on her invitation. A better way to have done this would have been to have an insert with her wedding invitation saying “I know it is hard for my out of town guests to bring gifts. Gift cards might be easier for you and are greatly appreciated.”

If you do ask for money many times people are more inclined to give if you tell them what you are going to use it for. For instance, take the “caked” example from above. You could ask your DJ to announce the glasses at the beginning of your reception and explain that the money will be used to help you get your own place together.

The choice is yours. Be sensitive to your guests’ feelings and do what you think is best.